Desire, mo-jo, libido, sex drive… no matter what you wanna call it chances are you may have been lead to believe a few very unhelpful, very untrue and very damaging myths about female desire.
So let’s just take a moment to bust these suckers!
??Desire is just about sex drive
Desire is about oooh so much more than the urge to merge on a Saturday night. Desire if we let it can plunge us into the deepest parts of ourselves, showing us what needs to be claimed, surrendered and shifted. It can lead to a reclamation of self and personal power! It is a doorway into deep connection, creativity and blissful living.
Desire is not just about making love, it’s about making LOVE your life.
??Desire is a commodity
Hard NO on this one.
Desire is not something that you can lose or miss out on. It cannot be artificially or chemically relaced – why do think there isn’t a female viagra yet? Sexual desire is energy – a sustainable NATURAL resource that is available to ALL of us, even those who may not feel it right now.
Say it with me: I WILL ALWAYS HAVE ACCESS TO MORE DESIRE. IT IS AN ENERGY WITHIN ME THAT I CANNOT LOSE.
??Desire diminishes with age
Nice try Hollywood! But we know the truth…
It can, but it doesn’t have too. If you expect that you’ll shut down sexually as you grow older because that’s the cultural norm then you probably will.
The right to pleasure, epic s*x, sensual bliss and juicy living doesn’t end just because you’re a mum, wife, moving through menopause or use a zimmer frame.
FYI – Research has failed to find a consistent link between a woman’s hormone levels (and age) and her sexual satisfaction.
In the words of one of my favorite teachers and mentors “It’s taken me 64 years to feel this damn sexy and I sure as sh!t won’t be told to tone it down”
What a brave and courageous act of self-love to reclaim your sexuality from a culture that says it has no value after baby making.
??It’s them NOT me!
Your sexual desire is your responsibility. It’s not his, hers, or theirs. It’s yours. It’s up to you to discover your pathway back to wanting. Back to your truth. Back to you.
Yeah, I know…
It’s sooo much easier to finger point and blame them or that, for not doing anything to flick your switch to ON. But I promise you, no change comes from blame.
It does nothing but leaves you feeling powerless. It’s your body, your mind, your stuff. It’s up to you to trudge through the mud and clear away the blocks that are standing between you and your YES!
It’s you who needs to do the work. Sure, partner support is important and wonderful and helpful, but it’s not mandatory. You have the power to transform your desire. You have everything you need to light your own fire and reclaim your sexy.
??It’s the relationship that’s the issue!
This is a biggie, so keep reading…
Just because you’re not diving between the sheets like you used to doesn’t mean the relationship is a disaster. Sure, there are times when it can be a very clear sign that something isn’t working in the partnership or that the relationship has run its course but not usually or always!
Very happy and in love couples can experience desire droughts too!
And here’s why…
What makes a relationship work really well, isn’t always the same thing that leads to a thriving sex life. In a relationship, we crave security, predictably and safety. However, desire wants the opposite. It thrives in the unpredictable and uncertain. I dive into all here in this blog post.
??Everyone is having more sex than you
Maybe or maybe not. But who really cares. We need to stop the comparison trap pronto!
Also here’s what’s most likely truer, every single couple is navigating their own set of challenges, hurdles and stages when it comes to their s*x life. Also show me a woman who hasn’t experienced feeling disconnected from her sexual energy, passion or desire at some point in her life and I’ll eat a bowl of stinky fishtails.
?? I have a ton of tools waiting for you here if you’re ready to take action and get your desire fire lit! Check out the jade egg and Deeper Dates here??