One of the most common complaints I hear from clients, friends and strangers on airplanes, is the lack of ‘spark’ in their long term relationship’s sex life.
And I totally get it.
When a relationship begins you’re in and out of bed so much there isn’t any point even making it! Everything is exciting. Everything is new. The first time he tries his signature move you think you’ve hit the jackpot, however, after the 77th round of the same routine…well, things can become a little same – same.
Now that’s not to say there is any less love in the relationship. In fact, as the relationship matures and grows, so does (hopefully) your love for one another.
And that’s when things get really exciting. Because now you have the crucial elements for mind-blowing sex!
Trust. Communication. Honesty.
Three things that are super important when it comes to creating an exciting sex life.
All we need now is to re-create that old fire that was once there by using a new spark. You have the wood (No! Not his wood, I’m talking trust, communication and honesty) all you need to do now is add the ‘flame’ and Voila! An exciting, fiery sex life once again.
Wondering what to use instead of matches?!
Enter the Sex Jar.
The perfect tool to combat bedroom boredom and so-so love making sessions.
What I love about the Sex Jar is that it makes a really sexy activity to do together. A glass of wine, some paper and a saucy imagination is all you need. Hello, Friday night date night!
Of course if creating the jar as a couple doesn’t feel right for you, feel free to copy down the ideas below and pop them into the jar yourself. Explain the Sex Jar to your partner and see if he is up for a saucy experiment. He may just surprise you and write down a few of his own suggestions!
Watch the video below to learn about the SEX JAR.
Once you have watched the video, scroll down to check out some of my suggestions for your own jar !
Ideas as a COUPLE
+ Outside Sex. Spread a picnic rug under the stars, go for a saucy bush walk, visit a deserted beach.
+ Show one another how you like to pleasure yourself. Either lying next to each other and pleasuring yourself at the same time or take it in turns to watch.
+ Over dinner divulge your sexiest fantasy to one another.
+ Spend an hour on foreplay and love making without climaxing. I repeat NO orgasm.Then, go out for dinner and let the sexual energy blaze hot throughout the entire meal before retreating back home and finishing what you started.
+ Use sex as a meditation. Slow everything right now. Barely move throughout the entire session of love making. Notice everything. Your breath. The sensations on your skin. Your points of pleasure. Spend 30 mins or more with your partner inside of you. Just enjoy the feeling of deep intimacy.
+ Both commit to deep breathing throughout your entire love making session. Sync your breaths before you begin and then remind one another to inhale and exhale fully as the passion builds. Remember the more you both breath, the more you’ll both feel!
+ Start / Stop. Set a timer to go off every 2 mins. You can also use songs to do this. You have two minutes to engage in love making. When the timer sounds, you have to stop. For the next 2 minutes (or song) you can not touch one another. When the 2 mins of non-touching is up, the next 2 mins is game on again! Repeat repeat repeat repeat! The aim here is to get so frustrated at the stop watch you want to throw it out the window and so turned on you can barely keep apart in between rounds!
+ Sit facing one another. Take it in turns to list what you find sexy about the other person. This should include things they do sexually that drive you wild!
Him to YOU
+ Tonight it’s all about you. Your pleasure. No mutual sexual contact. Request a delicious night of oral sex or a yoni ( vagina) massage.
+ A sexy, sensual massage by candlelight with an ending of your choice!
+ Sensation play. How many props can your partner find around the house to create interesting and delicious sensations on your body? Your job is simply lie back (blindfolded for extra points!) and enjoy your body as it’s teased and seduced. Hint: ice cubes, feathers, a fork, honey, a spatula, silk all work well.
+ Full body exploration. Your partner is the scientist and you are the subject. The goal is to find where and how your body likes to be touched. Lie down and have your partner start from your head all the way to your toes. Note for partner: Ask what and where feels nice and give encourage honest feedback. You want to find exactly how your woman likes to be touched, licked, stroked, kiss. This should include a through exploration of your vagina as well!
You to HIM
+ How do you like it? Tonight men you’ll be directing your partner as she spoils you with some penis worship. How would you like her to touch your penis? Gently provide full direction.
+ What is your favourite sexual position? Tonight your wish is your partners command.
+ Peaking. Ladies tonight it’s all about prolonging his orgasm for greater pleasure. Bring him close to climax and then stop. Take a break. Begin again. Stop. Break. Do this a minimum of 7 times! It will drive him crazy…in a good way.
+ Signs of enjoyment are super sexy. Ladies you will use your voice to narrate what’s going on for you during love making. “Mmm I love when you kiss me deeply” “I am getting so turned on now” “My nipples are erect” You are putting words to all the juicy sensations, pleasure and action.
I’d love to hear how you went creating the jar. If your feeling brave share some of the things YOU came up with in the comments below. Your suggestions will inspire others! Who doesn’t love some sex-spiration!