In every one of my workshops I begin by asking the beautiful women sitting in front of me what they call their vagina.
Here are some of the answers I get:
Twat, beaver, fish lips, taco, camel toe, muff, snatch, hole, penis glove, cock sock, hoohah, slit, love rug, poontang, poonanie, cooch, bearded clam, cunny, vag, front bottom, gash, minge, poonaner, dick-eater, man-eater, the list goes on…
Now some of these are pretty funny. I totally get it, yet I can’t help but bristle a little when I hear a woman refer to her sex centre in a way that makes her shrink or wince.
“Oh I don’t know, I don’t call it anything, or if I have to, I guess I just call it my minge. But whatever it’s gross”
Here’s the thing
We women have enough of an up hill battle with our lady rights without mocking, shaming and humiliating the most powerful part of our female anatomy. And slagging off our ‘bits’ only perpetuates a very real feeling many women have, which is…
Having a vagina is shameful.
Think about the messages you receive about your vagina. What should she look like? How it should she smell? When and to whom can she be shown? Now add to all of that words like twat, snatch, cu#t.
How does it make you feel about your vagina?
Now consider this.
Imagine if all women refused to allow our patriarchal society to influence how we feel our vagina and instead showered her with total admiration and reverence. Perhaps even changing her name to one that feels more fitting for such a place of worship. I love the tantric word Yoni , a Sanskrit word meaning sacred temple.
How does it feel to refer to your vagina in a way which describes how worthy of love and devotion she is? I bet it makes you want to drape her velvet and have 8 toga clad chaps feed her grapes and fine wine.
Now I know bordering on the ridiculous here, but stay with me because here comes the point…
Our thoughts manifest our reality, so the likely hood of a woman deeply caring for and respecting her Yoni is likely decreased if she refers to it as ‘ stinky minge’. No?
So I want to ask you, invite you, and BEG you gorgeous women, please do not ridicule her, and never ever let another man or woman demean her either.
The words above are not “joke-y” slang names that women should just accept out of fear of being labeled uptight. Remember words have consequences and shape our belief and if we constantly hear our sex spoken about in a less than loving way, what chance do have of developing our own healthy love for her.
Need further evidence?
It has been proven that there is a direct link between words and their affect on our mind- body connection. In fact, if you continually shame or direct negative energy towards your own or another woman sex centre you will inhibit sensual pleasure, relaxation and and increase shame around sexuality and sexual organs. When you shame, repress or insult a women sexuality and sexual organs you shut down not only her emotional and intellectual sensitivity, you profoundly impact her sense of self worth, creativity and self love. And that’s science baby!
So take notice of the language you use to describe that most sacred part of you. Use words and language that reflect her power, beauty and wisdom and allow you to take pride in her ownership.
I would love to live in a word where every woman (and man) adored vaginas and as owners, it starts with us. Let’s ALL treasure her, listen to her, and spoil her with positivity and nourishing attention, beginning with our words.